At Creative Mumz we believe in nurturing the parent-child bond. Although all parents including me claim and really do love their kids more than anything, but at times our love falls prey to our own frustrations and anger. We might loose control in difficult situations but need to educate ourselves to keep our cool, be more understanding and reasonable, esp. when dealing with kids.
The following article is very thought provoking, so I felt like sharing it with all of you.
The most popular emotional wrecking tool with parents is over-criticism.
The slogan of the over-critical parent is “I’ll get that kid to shape up even if it kills him! After all, its for his/her OWN good! They will thank me some day!”
The really dedicated over-critical parent rides the kid’s back from the moment his feet touch the floor in the morning until he passes out at night! They become angry to the point of rage (or violence) whenever their kid “fails” to live up to their expectations. They resort to all kinds of ways and means to punish and “humiliate” the kid to live up to their unrealistic expectations and standards. The apparent aim of this kind of misguided parent(s) is to build the child up by tearing them down! The end result of course is just that, a torn down, broken hearted and bitter(angry) kid!
The child (victim) of the over-critical parent’s “good intentions” soon starts to feel that he or she just can’t do anything right! Whenever he or she falls short of perfection, they are made to feel they are a total screw up. And he now begins to feel that, since he or she has failed to live up to their parent’s impossibly high standards and expectations, he doesn’t therefore deserves their love and respect. A deep and dark feeling of “self-contempt” (anger at self) and worthlessness overwhelms him to the point of self-destructive behavior. Kids resent (are angry about) being “put down” and insulted all the time ESPECIALLY by their OWN parents! They rebel against it, and parents then wonder “whats gotten into him ?”
Since he has been made to feel he’s a “loser” by HIS OWN PARENT(S), he will now dramatize (act out) this conviction for the rest of his life.
Check out our website for information about our group for mums in Dubai and Sharjah. www.creativemumz.com